I always believed God existed. As children I think we are programmed to believe in Him. He made us so he can provide within us a longing for Him. Children can be so believing and so trusting. However, as our lives progress things happen that lead us to question His existence. People die, loved ones die, we have difficulties in life, some people are homeless, others are hungry, or some people within a church community may not be as nice as we expect. This life can offer us reasons to doubt.
In my adult life I lost the ability to see God’s presence. Unexpected events or unwanted tragedies in my life made me question my life, the purpose of my life, and the presence of God. I still believed He existed but I simply did not experience Him in my life as I perceived it.
Well for me this all changed on the weekend of March 24, 2007. I attended a retreat. At the retreat men described their lives, their not experiencing God in their lives, and their finding God in their lives. On that weekend I had two mystical experiences; two experiences that let me know so very clearly that God does indeed exist in this life.
The first mystical experience was that of being rid of anxiety and feelings of a lower self esteem that I had sensed for most of my life. I tried many ways to rid of these negative feelings but I could not for many years. However, on the weekend of this retreat, I had the sensation of an immediate relief of these negative feelings that no longer control me, even now. On that same weekend I experienced an incredible feeling of unconditional love that I am still very aware of. And no, I do not attend weekly “rah rah” meetings and do not listen to any motivational tapes on any weekly or daily basis. The feelings of relief from emotional pain and of unconditional love are simply present within me most all the time, for almost seven years now.
I have been associated with many people within and outside my church who have experienced similar transformations. So how do I associate this with a God?
From what I have experienced within myself and from others, if man or woman could not solve long-standing emotional or psychological problems on their own or with other people, but did find a transformation as I and many experienced, then something else is in play. To me, such a transformation from negative emotions to an incredible sense of being unconditionally loved can only come from a God.
There is so much more to this. I hope in time to add more to this part of my web site. Feel free to offer comments. I invite you to discuss this with trusted friends. There is so much more to this life than feeling unloved, feeling alone, feeling anxious, feeling inadequate, or to feeling a loss in hope. There is love, there is peace, there is comfort, and their is tremendous joy in this life!